I always believed that life gives us second chances. That no matter how badly we mess up, no matter how much we take people for granted, there will always be time to make things right. But I was wrong. Time does not wait. And when it runs out, all we are left with is regret.
You were always there for me. Even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I ignored your calls, when I forgot your birthday, when I acted like your feelings didn’t matter. You never held it against me. You smiled and said, “I know you’re busy, I understand.” But I know now that you didn’t understand. You just didn’t want to make me feel bad.
I told myself I would do better. I promised myself I would call you back. I kept saying, “Tomorrow, I’ll make time. Tomorrow, I’ll check in.” But tomorrow never came. When I finally picked up my phone, it was not to dial your number. It was to receive the news. You were gone. Just like that. No warning, no last words, no chance to say goodbye.
I still replay everything in my mind. I go back to all the moments I let slip away, all the times I could have shown you that you mattered. And I ask myself, why? Why did I think there would always be another day? Why did I let my pride, my laziness, my selfishness, keep me from showing you the love you deserved?
Now I sit in silence, wishing I could turn back time. Wishing I could hear your voice, just one more time. Wishing I could say, “I’m sorry for not being there.” Wishing I could say, “I love you, and I always have.” But wishes don’t change the past. They only haunt the present.
I pray to Allah to send my words to you, wherever you are. I pray that somehow, some way, you know that I never meant to take you for granted. I was just foolish. I thought we had forever. But forever was just an illusion. And now, I live with the weight of what I never said.