I have never been good with words. My English is not perfect, and my feelings always stay trapped inside me. But today, I have to try. Because I never said what I should have when you were here, and now you are gone.
You always told me, “Just talk to me.” You said, “Tell me what you feel.” But I didn’t know how. My heart felt heavy, but my mouth stayed shut. Maybe you thought I didn’t care, but inside, I cared too much. I was just scared. Scared that if I spoke, my words would come out wrong. Scared that maybe you wouldn’t understand.
And now, I have no chance. No chance to try again. No chance to say, “I’m sorry.” No chance to say, “You were my best friend.” No chance to say, “Please, don’t go.”
That day, you called me. Your voice was tired, small. You said, “Can we talk?” And I said, “Later, I’m busy.” But later never came.
Now I sit alone with this pain. I think of you every single day. I think of the words I never said. And I beg Allah to forgive me. I beg Him to tell you somehow that I never meant to hurt you. That I wish, with all my heart, I had chosen differently.
But I didn’t. And now, it’s too late.