Dear Stranger,
If you are reading this, it means you have stumbled upon the words of an old woman who has lived long enough to collect a lifetime of regrets. I am writing this not for pity but for the hope that my mistakes may help someone else make fewer of their own.
When I was young, I thought regret was something weak people carried. I believed if I lived boldly, made my own choices, and followed my heart, I wouldn’t have any. But time is a patient teacher, and it has taught me that even the bravest souls collect regrets along the way. Some regrets whisper quietly in the background, while others scream at you when the world gets quiet. I have both kinds.
One of my biggest regrets is how much time I wasted being angry. I held grudges like they were treasures, protecting them as if they were a part of my identity. There was a time when my sister and I didn’t speak for almost fifteen years over something so silly I can’t even fully remember it now. I do remember the day she passed away. I remember standing in front of her coffin, realizing I would never hear her voice again. All those years we could have laughed, argued, shared stories, and grown old together, gone. Just gone. And for what? Pride? Stubbornness? If I could go back, I would choose love over my ego every single time.
I also regret not telling people how much I loved them. I was never good at expressing feelings. I assumed people just knew. My husband, oh, how I loved that man!, I don’t think I ever told him enough. He passed away one cold morning in January, and I still remember staring at his empty chair at the breakfast table, wondering if he really knew how much he meant to me. I should have told him every single day.
Then, there were my children. I spent so much time trying to make their lives perfect that I forgot to enjoy them. I was always busy working, cleaning, making sure everything was in order. But childhood doesn’t wait. It slips through your fingers like sand, and before you know it, your babies are grown, with lives of their own. I regret not playing more, laughing more, and simply being present with them. If you have little ones, please, put down the phone, step away from the endless to-do lists, and just be with them. You won’t regret that.
And then, of course, there are the dreams I left behind. When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a writer. I had notebooks filled with stories and poems, but life got in the way. “I’ll do it later,” I kept telling myself. But later never came. I let fear of failure and self-doubt stop me. Now, I have nothing to show for the words I once dreamed of sharing with the world. If you have a dream, don’t wait. Chase it, even if you fail. At least you won’t regret not trying.
I regret the times I let fear control me. The times I didn’t dance because I was afraid of looking foolish. The times I didn’t speak up because I was afraid of what people would think. The times I didn’t take risks because I was afraid of failing. If I could live my life again, I would dance every time music played. I would speak my mind freely. I would take every chance that excited my heart, no matter how uncertain.
One of my smallest but silliest regrets is never learning to swim. My whole life, I avoided water, afraid of drowning. I watched others float effortlessly, laughing in the ocean waves, while I sat on the shore, missing out. It’s funny how such a small thing can symbolize so much. I spent too much of my life standing on the sidelines, watching others truly live, too afraid to step into the unknown.
But for all my regrets, there is one thing I do not regret loving deeply. Even though it has led to pain, loss, and heartbreak, I would do it all over again. Because love, even when it leaves you broken, is worth it. Every hug, every kiss, every moment of connection, it all matters. So if there’s one thing I can tell you, dear stranger, it’s this: Love. Love with everything you have. Love even when it’s scary, even when it might end, even when it hurts. Love anyway.
I don’t know who you are, or why you are here, but if you have read this far, I want to leave you with a simple piece of advice: Don’t wait. Don’t wait to say “I’m sorry.” Don’t wait to say “I love you.” Don’t wait to follow your dreams. Don’t wait to live. Life is shorter than you think, and in the end, it is not what you did that you regret the most, but what you didn’t do.
With love and hope,
An Old Woman